Tár: A Guide to How a Female Narcissist Behaves

When it comes to female narcissists, as with narcissistic males, it’s often hard to recognise the signs until it’s too late. That’s why movies like Tár (2022) are great tools to help you identify the traits of narcissism and how they may be impacting your life.

When I first watched the movie Tár, I couldn’t help but notice how the main character, a renowned orchestral conductor called Lydia Tár (played by Cate Blanchett), exhibited many classic traits of a textbook female narcissist. She had a constant need for attention, validation and admiration and disregarded the feelings of others.

What makes Tár so interesting is that it delves into the consequences of Lydia’s behaviour and how it affects those around her. Watching this movie can give you an insight into how a female narcissist might behave, and how they can leave a trail of destruction in their wake. If you’ve encountered someone in your life who exhibits some of the same traits as Lydia, then this movie might help you better understand what’s going on.

In Tár’, Lydia presents us with numerous examples of how narcissistic women behave. She’s highly focused on her own career and success, often at the expense of others around her. She is devoid of morals, ethics, and empathy and she has fought to get to the top of her profession and will do anything to stay there.

Lydia frequently belittles others, such as the orchestra members, is dismissive of their concerns, and shows little regard for their well-being or opinions. When she also becomes fixated on a young prodigy, she sets the wheels in motion to groom her to become her next lover. Meanwhile, her previous protégé is sending her desperate emails, clearly close to suicide, which Lydia heartlessly ignores.

Let’s take a look at six classic traits to help you identify a potentially narcissistic woman in your life, starting with gaslighting.

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Sexual predation and grooming are serious and harmful behaviours that may be exhibited by female narcissists just as much as by males. These behaviours involve the manipulation and exploitation of individuals for sexual purposes, often through the use of charm, flattery, and manipulation.

Grooming is the process of building trust and emotional connections with potential victims to make them more vulnerable to sexual advances. This process can involve the use of gifts, special attention, and other forms of manipulation. Sexual predation, on the other hand, involves taking advantage of these emotional connections to coerce or force victims into sexual activity.

Grandiosity is a defining characteristic of narcissistic personality disorder, where individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement. They may exaggerate their accomplishments, demand admiration and attention, and believe they are superior to others. This grandiose self-view may also include fantasies of unlimited power, success, or beauty. However, these beliefs are often fragile, and individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder may respond aggressively or defensively to any perceived threat to their self-worth.

Overall, grandiosity as a narcissistic female behaviour shows up as an exaggerated sense of self-importance that often masks deep-seated feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Pay careful attention to the opening of the movie for the first hints at Lydia’s grandiosity.

Attention-seeking can manifest in various ways beyond just seeking admiration and attention from others. It may also present itself through dramatic and exaggerated behaviour, such as pretending to be sick or injured to garner sympathy or attention. Additionally, attention-seeking may involve interrupting conversations or monopolising.

Some female narcissists with this trait may even engage in risky or attention-grabbing behaviour to elicit a response from others. Overall, attention-seeking behaviour can take many forms, but it is characterised by a constant need to be noticed and validated by others. By the end of the movie, you will realise that Cate Blanchett’s character Lydia Tár has been in every scene!

While both men and women can exhibit narcissistic tendencies, there are some differences in the way that these traits may manifest.

One potential difference between male and female narcissism is how societal expectations and gender roles can influence the expression of narcissistic behaviour. For example, men may be more likely to exhibit grandiose behaviour and assertive dominance, while women may use more subtle forms of manipulation and attention-seeking to achieve their goals.

Another potential difference is in the way that narcissism may be related to other psychological issues. Some studies have suggested that women may be more likely to experience shame and low self-esteem, which can contribute to developing narcissistic tendencies. Conversely, men may be more likely to experience feelings of anger and aggression, which can also be associated with narcissistic traits.

However, it is important to note that while there may be some differences in how male and female narcissism are expressed, the underlying psychological mechanisms that drive narcissistic behaviour are largely the same. Both male and female narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a strong desire for attention and admiration.

Overall, understanding the potential differences between male and female narcissism can be helpful in identifying and addressing problematic behaviour. However, it is important to remember that everyone is unique, and individual experiences may vary. There are many great movies featuring examples of male narcissism, such as The Wife.

In 2018, I saw the movie “The Wife,” in which Glenn Close plays the wife of a narcissist (Jonathan Pryce). “The Wife” left me thinking about the complex and often damaging effects of narcissistic behaviour in romantic relationships and the workplace. In fact, I was so intrigued by the topic that I wrote a blog piece about it, 7 Key Narcissism Flags for ‘The Wife’, exploring the topic of narcissism and how it can impact those around us. If you get a chance to watch the sensational Close and Pryce in The Wife look out for the narcissistic tendencies listed above.

In addition, The Wife also highlights another key narcissistic trait that links to grandiosity – taking Credit.

The Impact of Narcissistic Women in the Workplace

Are you working with a female colleague who seems to have an inflated sense of self-importance?

Do they demand excessive praise and recognition, manipulate others to get what they want, and show little concern for the needs of their colleagues or the organisation?

If so, you may be dealing with a female narcissist.